The Wall Street Journal's editorial board wasted no time in leaping to Donald Trump's defense after Ambassador William Taylor testified before House impeachment investigators that Trump did withhold U.S. military aid to Ukraine in an attempt to secure an "investigation" of a 2020 election opponent; that multiple Trump allies conveyed this to Ukraine; and that the Ukrainian president and government clearly understood Trump's demand.
Most of the op-ed is cribbed directly from Republican talking points, mewling that Taylor "testified in secret" (his opening statement was publicly released) and that, Actually, maybe it will turn out when all transcripts are out that there is nothing to see here. But then it devolves into a more novel argument: Dear Leader, the Angry Hatepumpkin, is too stupid and incompetent to have successfully committed crimes.
Intriguingly, Mr. Taylor says in his statement that many people in the Administration opposed the Giuliani effort, including some in senior positions at the White House. This matters because it may turn out that while Mr. Trump wanted a quid-pro-quo policy ultimatum toward Ukraine, he was too inept to execute it. Impeachment for incompetence would disqualify most of the government, and most Presidents at some point or another in office.
It is perfectly fine that Dear Leader, Holder of the Nuclear Weapons and Supreme Golfer in the Land, attempted both the extortion of an at-war ally and the flagrant violation of U.S. elections laws prohibiting foreign assistance, because the man was too much of a mushbrain to pull it off. (That makes him naught but an ordinary civil servant, tee hee.)
This is the editorial board of The Wall Street Journal making this case, to be clear. It is important that they be given boldfaced credit for their stance; we would not want to deprive them. Wall. Street. Journal. The newspaper.
Well, the board is certainly right that Donald Trump is stupid. A buffoon, in fact. That the putative leader of the nation and commander of our armed forces is inept and incompetent is something that political observers from all points on the spectrum can agree on. His actions toward North Korea, Ukraine, and Syrian Kurds make a compelling case that the man's stupidity amounts to an ongoing international crisis.
And that is why Donald Trump should not be removed from office, says the Journal. Or says the editorial board of the Journal. Or says—actually, we do not know who authored this screed demanding transparency, because the Journal author is anonymous. A whistleblower in reverse. A whistlesucker, if you will.
By all means, though, if this is to be the new conservative talking point, then they should make the case robustly. Nothing would be more apt than for an impeachment trial of Donald Trump, presided over in the Senate by Chief Justice of the United States John Roberts, to be peppered with Republican senators thumping tables and arguing that, even if their president did attempt grotesque high crimes, he was foiled by his own staggering incompetence and therefore must be allowed to remain in office. You would not convict a man who robbed a bank but failed to get away, an angry-to-the-point-of-tears Sen. Lindsey Graham would yell at his colleagues. It would be madness.
Yes, please. Do that. Go there. Now that the testimony of multiple witnesses has confirmed that the extortion did happen, that the quid pro quo was both offered and understood, and now that the rest of the particulars of the high crime are laid out, by all means the Republican punditry and officials should retreat yet again, this time to the argument that Donald Trump is too stupid to successfully commit crimes regardless of the attempt.
But not, according to the Wall Street whistlesucker, too stupid to lead our nation.